Today is my mom's birthday! I'm not for sure if she would want me sharing her age, but I will. 55!! Crazy huh? She doesn't look a day over 40 in my mind. She's just as beautiful at 55 as at 30, still as vibrant and full of energy, still loving unconditionally everyone she meets, still one of my favorite people to be with.

I've learned so much from my mom over the years - how to laugh at myself, how to love others, how to faithfully follow Jesus through the ups and downs of life, and now how to be a good mom myself (more to say about that later). She is one of a kind and I couldn't have picked a better mom had I hand picked her.

I'm very thankful my mom gets to ring in her 55th year with me in Portland. I don't get to see her enough, especially on special occasions, so this is a treat. Happy Birthday Mom!!

Proverbs 15:15
"For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast."

Today I feasted. So much so that it's 9:22pm and I finally got a minute to sit down at the computer. A day full of Gram, friends, and sunshine. Life can't get any better than this.

And now I'm off to feast some more, my parents and aunt and uncle have just arrived from Hawaii on their way back to Illinois and we get 2 nights with them. So thankful!

Life is good, so very good.

Today I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions, like every moment I should be doing about 3 things.

Lord give me strength and patience and joy in the midst of craziness.

1 Corinthians 12: 18
"But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it."

Dustin and I moved to Portland 3 1/2 years ago for many reasons - so he could go to seminary, so we could live in a place that resonated with our interests, so we could be a part of a church that shared our philosophy of ministry. But the main reason is we felt God calling and we followed.

When we visited Portland for the first time, we immediately loved it. But what we loved most was Evergreen. Dustin's heart is church planting and through his experiences elsewhere he refined in his mind how he would plant a church if given the opportunity. Evergreen was almost exactly it. We were told if we wanted to be a part of leadership at Evergreen that we should move to Portland, attend Evergreen and see what happened, so that's what we did. And God, faithful as always, provided an opportunity for Dustin to join the leadership, start the first separate gathering, and provided a group of people that we call family.

It's been amazing to see over the last 3 1/2 years how God has brought each person to Evergreen for a reason, He has put all of us right where he wants us, atleast that's what I believe. I have said this before, but I feel very much like a mother hen when it comes to my Evergreen family. Every person that comes through the door I want to gather under my wing and make sure they are cared for. Dustin feels the same. He longs to see each person that comes through the door to know and be known by Jesus more and more, for their lives to be transformed by his message of hope and redemption.

But it's hard. It's hard to be a part of family. It's hard to not feel like a failure when things aren't going perfectly. It's hard to not take responsibility for others bad choices. Dustin carries that weight, as most pastors do. His heart hurts when people are hurting, his righteous anger flares at injustices, and his mind reels when things don't make sense. The life of a pastor. Trust in a God who's big enough to handle all of our imperfections and faith in a people who's hearts are searching for what is true and holy.

Whether we're pinky fingers or elbows, we wouldn't want to a part of any other body.

As a new mom, there is nothing that brings me more joy than Gram, really enjoying Gram - enjoying holding him and looking at him, playing with him and making him laugh.

But the next best thing is watching other people feel that same way about Gram. My eyes well up watching family and friends light up over him. I got to experience this today at church. Our friends Emily and Clay love Gram, and I love to watch them love Gram. They both get so excited to hold him and play with him. Looking across the room today at both of them holding Gram, so into him made my heart swell. All three of them had huge smiles on their faces which automatically brought one to mine.

I can't express my gratitude of knowing Gram is so loved, not only by Dustin and I, but my our family and friends as well. I love getting to share parenting with so many other amazing moms and dads. I love getting to be a part of their children's lives and know that Gram is so blessed by their involvement in his. Not everyone has multiple grandparents that care so much about them, but Gram does. He has aunts and uncles that delight in him just as much as the rest of us. What a lucky kid!

Oh, my cup runneth over, it runs and runs and runs!!

Proverbs 15:3
"The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good."

I find myself saying to Gram a lot, "I see you!" I say it to convey comfort to him, to let him know I care about what he's doing, that I'm still close by, that I haven't left him. I say it to acknowledge whatever kind of cuteness he's bubbling over with at that moment, to say to him I love watching him learn and grow and do something new.

I'm sure there will come a time when "I see you!" will be in response to some kind of mischief that Gram is up to. But for now seeing Gram is so much fun, not only for me but for Gram too. It's incredible to see his face light up when our eyes meet. He's begun to smile and laugh at us while we're having conversations with other people, he's not even part of the conversation! But when we look over and see him smiling and laughing, he does it all the more. He loves to talk back to us in response to our talking to him. It's obvious in so many ways that Gram wants to be seen, longs for it actually. Such a critical part of a baby's development is being acknowledged and included in life around them. Everything in them cries out to be seen.

There are times that I, too, long to be seen - for my life to be acknowledged and affirmed, to get some encouragement and empowerment for whatever good I'm trying to do at the time. I expect and depend on God seeing me. My whole life depends on it actually. If God didn't see me, I would be in total darkness, doomed to destruction and pain forever. But God does see me. He seems me in the middle of the night when I'm awake with a hungry baby. He sees me early in the morning and late at night. He sees my coming and going. He sees me...

He sees me even when I don't see myself. There have been times in my life that I'm not particularly proud of. There are times even now (and I know in the future) when my behavior doesn't line up with my heart, or my heart doesn't line up with His, and I've forgotten myself. In those moments I kind of hope God doesn't see me. However, it's exactly because He does that I am not lost. He eyes bring me back every time, reminding me that I am not alone, that he's still close by. Being seen reminds me that I am cared about and loved, that God loves seeing me grow and learn and do good. That as Gram learns about the world around him, I learn about Gram and that same world, and together we are seen.

Proverbs 14:26
"Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children."

"Having a kid changes your life." Dustin and I realized this immediately. Driving Gram home from the hospital, everything looked different. Riding in a car was different, looking out the window at Walgreens and the trees was different, bringing him into our home was...amazing and different. Most profoundly, however, is my relationship with God is different. Worship means something different to me now that I have an heir, a tiny baby who is counting on me to teach him about the truths of this world and the next. Singing to the Lord, really listening to the words of grace and redemption that Christ offers to me is so much deeper knowing that He, in his unconditional love, has already extended that to Gram as well. I want the absolute best for Gram, I would give up anything good for myself for Gram to have everything good. God doesn't ask me to make that choice. He made that choice for me by sending his Son to us sinners, to love us, to forgive us, to redeem us. Gram and I need that.

It's a scary world out there and I can't imagine having brought Gram into it without the truth of God's love in my life. He makes life worth living for Gram. He will be Gram's rock, his refuge, his friend and savior. If I do nothing else right as a mom but teach Gram about his Father that loves him, I will consider this whole adventure a success.

Today I am grateful for Jesus in both Gram's and my life.

Matthew 6:34
"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."

I'm not a worrier typically. At times I think I'm a closet worrier actually, I tend to be stressed at times without physically showing it. But motherhood is proving to be a whole new realm of worry that I have never experienced before. I'm sure I'll have many posts about different things I might be worrying about concerning Gram, but right now it's sleep.

Gram has never been a big sleeper. As a newborn he would be up for 4-5 hours at a time, which completely confused me. I had always heard that all newborns did was eat, sleep and poop. Well, Gram ate and pooped just fine, but sleep was another story. He's went through phases of sleeping better. I longingly remember a 3 week stretch where I was up with him just once a night. But ever since January, he's been getting up most nights every 3-4 hours. Some nights I get a 5-6 hour stretch, some nights it's every 2 hours (like last night!!) I have read more articles and asked more questions about sleep compared to any other and still I feel a bit at my wits end.

Two nights ago he slept 9 hours straight! "Yes!" I thought, "Maybe now he'll start to sleep better." And then last night up every 2 hours!!! Had I not had the 9 hour stretch the night before, I think I would be in tears writing this post. What's a new mom to do?

There are many different theories of ways to get your baby to sleep and I'm having a hard time figuring out which one fits Gram best. I feel like I've tried routine/ schedule (as much as made sense with Gram) and it didn't really work. I'd like to give it another try and probably will. I've tried feeding on demand and watching his natural cues. Everything I've tried has seemed to work a little or for a short time. Maybe I need to be more consistent and stick with one thing.

What worries me is feeling this overwhelming pressure that it's all up to me. Like after the 9 hour stretch, I wracked my brain thinking what I had done with him the day before and tried to repeat it, but then I got 2 hour stretches. I wonder how much is me and how much is just Gram. Gram is an incredibly happy and content baby, so I have nothing to complain about. But getting more sleep would be SO NICE! And I know he needs more sleep at times too, how can I help him sleep better?

Lately, I have found myself dreading going to bed because I don't know what the night will hold. I hate that feeling. I hate feeling like what I am doing right now with Gram might adversely affect his sleeping later. I feel like all my decisions with him revolves around sleep. And maybe that's ok, maybe that needs to be until we get this figured out. Or maybe I'm worrying about it too much. I don't know.

Today, I don't know. I'm running on too little sleep and a heart heavy with prayers for sleep for both Gram and me.

Matthew 6:31-33
"So don't worry about these things, saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

Dustin and I held off making the decision about whether I would be a stay at home mom for some time. During my pregnancy and even the first weeks of Gram's life, we still hadn't made the decision. It wasn't that we didn't believe in the importance of one of us staying at home or the benefits to both Gram and us. It was purely financial. We weren't for sure if financially we could do it, and we weren't for sure financially if we were ready to do it. We were a 2 income family, FINALLY! After Dustin graduated from Seminary, we had just bought a house, and it felt SO NICE to not have to live paycheck to paycheck.

We had come a long way from living in a basement studio apartment, Dustin working at Hollywood video and painting and me commuting 3 hours a day to make ends meet. It felt good. SO good. It felt good to have a home and to have the finances to complete projects for it. It felt good to be able to go out to dinner with friends whenever we wanted. We remembered living in the basement studio apartment not having extra money for even 1 cup of coffee at Starbucks, let alone a meal out.

We had come a long way...God had brought us a long way. And it was so nice. But being with Gram, caring for this incredibly vulnerable little thing, it didn't take long for both of us to make up our minds - Gram needed mom at home. And maybe even more, mom needed to be home with Gram, and dad needed mom to be home with Gram. Dustin and I were surprised at how overwhelmed we felt about the need for me to be home with him. And so the decision was made.

March 5th was my last day as a full time out of the house employee. It was a great day! And yet a bit terrifying as well. The reality of living without the paycheck was setting in. And it's hard. It's hard to give up that control over our lives and, again, be in a place where we are relying on God month by month to help us make wise decisions and stretch our dollars. It's a great place to be, right? Relying on God? Yes!!! A million times over, YES!! And yet equally as scary.

And so, day by day, the tug of war inside of me between worry and trust goes on. Worry over whether we can afford health insurance and trust that God will provide for all our needs, as he has done time and time again. These small worries are nothing for our gigantic God. Our small family would be nothing without our gigantic God.

"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands."

This is probably the most fitting verse to begin my new job as a stay at home mom. What else is child rearing than building a home - a family, a future? I have already learned while on maternity leave and home with Gram that this can happen in both big and small ways.

Big ways to build your home vs. tear it down:
1. Having a heart of love vs. bitterness/ contempt
2. Speaking encouraging words vs. words that pick fights
3. Appreciating the opportunity to raise Gram vs. wondering what I might be missing out on
4. Putting me first vs. putting Gram first

Small ways to build your home vs. tear it down:
1. Filling my day with TV vs. quality time with Gram and God
2. Keeping up the house vs. laziness
3. Opening our home to others regularly vs. holing up by ourselves
4. Being thrifty vs. being frivolous

There are so many ways that this verse has and will play out in my days. My prayer is that I remember it often, that my choices build up instead of tear down, that Gram will grow up in a loving, secure and playful home and that he, too, will love to build.

So, i've been inspired by my best friend Jaime to begin blogging every day again. She's blogging daily about what she's thankful for and capturing a photo of it. i love going to her blog every day to see her amazing pics and write about what's going on in her life.

i'm afraid that this special time in my life is going to be gone before i know it, gone without me having reflected or captured what was REALLY going on with me and Gram and our family. so i've decided to blog every day about what God is teaching me. my rules are as follows:

1. i will try to have a scripture verse to accompany my post.
2. i can write about the same concept more than once but can't cut and paste an old entry.
3. i will be honest, even when it's ugly.

Post #1 on its way.

I know I haven't been good about updating the ole' blog. Here's some pregnancy pics.

Week 24




Week 19

My first official pregnancy pics! I'll be 15 weeks on Thursday. The first trimester has gone incredibly well. I've had no morning sickness at all, absolutely none! Praise God!

October 29th is coming soon and we can't wait to meet our new little one!!

Congrats to my husband who after 3 years of study and hard work has completed his Master of Divinity graduate degree (well, he still has 4 classes this summer to complete). I was kind of struck at the graduate dinner on Friday night and again at the graduation on Saturday what an accomplishment this is. Dustin has made it seem pretty effortless, to be honest. He's just so natural at thinking and reading and writing that the past 3 years hasn't seemed to me to be very hard for him. But I know better.

I know it's because of his good organizational skills that he was able to complete most of his work during the day while working part time so as to have the evenings free for me, our friends, and the church. I know that because of his love of reading he used every spare moment he had to do the required and recommended readings for each class. I know it's because of his discipline of truly being present at whatever he was doing at the moment, whether that be doing schoolwork, fixing dinner with me, preparing a sermon, or reading just for fun that I was convinced everything was always under control.

I can remember just a few times that I saw Dustin get flustered because he was feeling overwhelmed with his schedule. He has worked 6 and often 7 days a week for the last 3 years and hasn't complained once. We are looking forward to him being done with school and having a somewhat normal schedule (if you can call a minister's schedule normal!) We'll see how long that lasts.

What I love most is I know this isn't the end. Dustin is a life-long learner and eventually we will be back here again, rearranging our lives for him to further his education and celebrating his accomplishments when he's finished. The only question is who will get their PhD first, him or me?

I'm 30. The big 3-0.

I assume it's only appropriate to reflective upon the close of each decade of your life. I owe atleast that to my 20's. Last night as I was going to sleep, I had some good reflections. They were eloquent in my head and yet right now I can't seem to recall any of it. Dang! I hope this isn't the first sign of how my 30's will go. I digress.

Let me begin by saying my 20's were fantastic. A lot of milestones over the last 10 years- graduated from college and graduate school, moved out on my own, followed God to Florida, learned the ins and outs of coffee and pastries, spent A LOT of time by the pool, lived with my very best friend Jaime, ministered together with Jaime, met the love of my life, dated the love of my life in New York City of all places!, married the love of my life, followed God to Portland, embraced being a pastor's wife, the list goes on and on...

My 20's were great. And yet already I've noticed the biggest change between my 20's and 30's is regrets. I lived my 20's with no regrets. Mistakes that were made were seen as lessons learned. Poor decisions and their consequences as opportunities to draw close to God. I truly felt throughout my 20's that I had no regrets in life.

I begin my 30's by reflecting on some regrets from my 20's. I feel like with age and hopefully wisdom, I'm understanding a little bit better true consequences. No, that's not it. As I turn 30 I have an overwhelming understanding of a very important truth for us all...you only get one life. Just one. One life is all I get in this world. And everything I do matters. I don't get another 20's. I don't get to redo any year of my life. I get one shot to make the most of my life, and I guess I just have to wonder if I'm giving it my best. Have I given all that God has given me my very best? At times I feel like I have given my best back to God and other times I'm ashamed to admit that I fall desperately short.

That's it. That is what is consuming my mind at the moment. So, just for fun and to distract me from pondering, let's reflect on what Kelli would and would NOT do if she could live her 20's over again.

If I could live my 20's over again, I would change....
1. Money matters - IF ONLY I had truly understood the importance of saving and wise spending. I regret not being better with my money in my 20's. Granted, I had a REALLY great time, but I also know I wasted a lot of money, and I regret that.
2. Health matters - IF ONLY I had used my metabolism in my 20's to really shed some excess weight and get in shape. I know it's still possible in my 30's, 40's and 50's but I wish I would have taken eating right and working out more seriously in my 20's.

I guess those are the big things. There are little things - you know, those situations where you acted like an idiot and wish you could just erase the memory of it forever - but there's no need to go into every one of those!

If I could live my 20's over again, I would NOT change...
1. Moving to Florida - It was definitely one of the greateast times of my life. I became friends with Dustin which ultimately led to us getting married, I lived with my very best friend, and I had TONS of visitors from all over the country come visit me, because who doesn't want to go to the beach for vacation? I miss that.
2. Moving to Portland - Also one of the greateast times of my life. I love this city and all it has to offer, I love our church and the amazing people I've got to know here, I love the whole state and how beautiful it is.
3. Following God - Although there have been tough times, times of financial uncertainty, confusion and frustration, I would never in a million years not follow God. It has been the most rewarding thing I've ever done with my life. I never dreamed my 20's would be what they were, they were so much better than anything I could have planned for my life and I owe that all to God.

Again, there are a lot of little things that I wouldn't change, like going to graduate school, ministering with Impact Ministries, taking trips to Italy, Vancouver B.C, and Lake Tahoe, attending friends' weddings, and celebrating every day life with those that I love.

So, that's it. Goodbye 20's and hello 30's. I do embrace you, 30's. You will look very different than the 20's, that doesn't make you any better or worse, you'll just be different. And I'm really looking forward to that.

Our local QFC has a Starbucks (which we are SO thankful for). At the Starbucks, you can write your name and number on your receipt and drop it in a bucket for customer of the week. Last week was the first time I had done it, and I WON!!! You can't really see it, but under my name is my regular drink: Grande Soy Sugar Free Vanilla London Fog. I won a $10 gift card!! Woohoo!!

p.s. Dustin is super jealous. he he he he

I just finished reading the book "Three Cups of Tea" last night. I feel like I've been devouring it since opening it for the first time. This book is incredibly inspiring, so interesting, the kind of story that I want to hear more of and be a part of.

This is the story of Greg Mortenson, an avid climber who attemped to climb K2, the second highest mountain in the world, but failed. He got lost on his way down the mountain and stumbled on the village of Korphe. The people of this village had never met an American before and very quickly they were Greg's best friend. One day Greg asked to see where the children went to school. Haji Ali, the village chief, took him up above the village where dozens of children, teacherless, with sticks in hand were practicing math in the dirt. The village could only afford a teacher 3 days a week, so on the off days the children practiced by themselves. He was so overcome by their hunger for education and determination to learn in the midst of the cold weather and no school supplies. He learned there was virtually no government funding for such small villages and the only other option for education was madrassas, the Muslim schools that are often known as extremists and tied to terrorist activities. He promised the village that he would do whatever it took to build them a school. Long story short, he got the $12,000 to build them a school and through the process realized that the way to fight terrorism was not through guns and bombs and military might, but rather through educating the next generation. So that's what he set out to do. Not only has he helped to build over 100 schools for women and children, especially girls, he's figured out the one way to ensure a future of peace for Pakistan and Afghanistan.

His story is so crazy and intriguing because he was building these schools in the build up and aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. He had tea with the Taliban and was even kidnapped at one point but set free. He has risked his life in a way that I can't even imagine.

I recommend this read to everyone. It truly is amazing what one man can do. The sacrafices his wife and children have made are staggering, all for poor nobody's half way across the world.

I'm sure Dustin will blog about this, but I just wanted to give a shout out to God today. I have said before that although I have always felt incredibly blessed by God, it wasn't until I married Dustin that I saw for the first time what God's favor on a person looks like. Time and time again in the last 3 and 1/2 years I have seen God step into Dustin's life in the most obvious and over the top ways. At times God has answered prayer quickly and other times, like today, we didn't have a chance to even pray about the situation before God decided to step in... yet again.

Thank you God for caring about the small and seeminly insignificant things in our life. Thank you that nothing is too small for your care and concern. Thank you that life isn't full of coincedences, but rather your gentle hand of love and protection.

To Him be the glory forever and forever!

I'm loving this new lay out. It makes me want to start blogging again. So watch out world! I just might blog once a month. =)

As the Advent season begins, I'm excited. I'm excited to take these next few weeks to intentionally focus on Christ in a new and more purposeful way. I'm excited to share this experience not only with my church community but with millions of Christians worldwide. I'm excited to draw upon the history of this time of year and the power of the very first Christmas. I'm excited to look forward to the time when I myself will see Jesus with my own eyes. I'm excited for an eternity of Christmas.

Life is good.

I haven't had a chance to read a lot about Kiva, but what I have read and know is absolutely amazing. You can check them out here and you should, you must in fact!

I've signed up but haven't loaned money yet. Dustin and I get "allowances" each month and we are going to use part of it to loan through Kiva. We each get to choose who we want to loan to. It's really fun, actually, getting to read people's stories who live thousands of miles away and who live a life so different than mine. I am fascinated and impressed by their resiliency, tenancity, commitment, strength, and creativity. I could never do this kind of thing in this country, it just takes too much that I don't have. But it's amazing how "little" to me goes so far somewhere else. And I am honored to get to help in some small way. I wish I could so much more.

Everyone should sign up and participate. So sign up now...now...NOW!!

I'm in McCall, Idaho for a few days this week attending an Emergency Disaster conference. We are staying at Ida Haven, an Adventist camp on a lake. This is a picture from the lodge. Ahhh...peace.

Life has been full of little surprises of which I am overwhelmingly thankful.

I attened training in Orlando, FL last week for my Emergency Disaster duties with The Salvation Army. Ironically, when Jaime and Phil were dropping me off in Orlando I said something along the lines of, "What's so weird about these kinds of conferences is I feel pressure to be social and talk to people, but really why? I'm never going to see these people again, so it's hard for me to be all chatty and nice. I just want to keep to myself and relax. So, I don't think I'm going to make any friends this week." Well, I was very wrong! God chose to cross my path with 5 police officers from Fischer, Indiana who completely welcomed me into their group. I do believe if I lived in Fischer we would all be friends. From the short amount of time that I spent with them, this is what I learned:

Mark is quite the social butterfly and has a sweet heart. However, he's still learning how to run in flip-flops without crash and burning.
Shawn is a funny, funny man. He reminded me of friends from college that use to crack me up all the time. We learned that his wife actually went to Lincoln Christian College, my alma mater. Go Preachers! I learned Shawn needs to not pursue his singing career.
Brad is a passionate and faithful evangelist, ready to talk/debate just about any topic. He may have been a theologian in another life.
Reggie is an incredibly courageous man. He's a loyal friend and all around great guy. His favorite song is Ebony and Ivory.
Angela is an amazing woman for putting up with not only these guys on this trip, but the predominantly male dominated department she works in. She has thick skin and a great sense of humor.

Thank you to Fischer Police Department for sending these guys to Orlando. You guys made my time there a lot of fun and set the bar really high for future trainings. I guess you'll just have to go wherever I go!!

Sincerely,
2-slash Kelli

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband!!

Three years ago today Dustin and I got married. I would love to look back on the morning and hear our breakfast conversation. Dustin and I snuck out in the wee hours of the morning (around 8am) and had breakfast together. It was a great time of de-stressing from the wedding activities and helped us both prepare for seeing each other later in the day. I can't remember what we talked about. I assume we were both just ready to get to St. Lucia and start the honeymoon!!

What I do know is we were both so excited to start our lives together. And we still are! Praise God!

Dustin, I love you and I'm still excited to spend the rest of my life with you. In a group of people, you're still the one I want to be standing by and talking to. At night, you're still the one I want on the couch next to me. When I'm upset, you're still the one I want telling me funny stories to make me feel better. When I think about starting a family, you're still the one I want by my side, figuring it out together. For me, you are the perfect companion. I love you.

Evergreen met together at the Goff house this past Sunday. We got kicked out of the Lucky Lab for "Hottest Day of the Year" Ride. Ironically, it was FREEZING all morning long. It was, however, one of the best days ever. It was tiresome with setting up, tearing down, and talking to so many people. An introvert like myself gets worn down by too many amazing people to talk to. Nevertheless, it was a great day. Here are a few pics that captured the day.

The band sounded AMAZING on Sunday. Joelle on the cello is nothing short of heavenly, Devin is meant to be a worship leader, and Chris on those drums makes me want to be a drummer. I loved seeing them all up there, just using the gifts God's given them. They looked like a traveling family band. Chris in the middle is wanting some attention and Dan is the troublemaker in the back. I love you guys!



My people.




Poor Beth couldn't stop shivering in the creek. But it was all worth it! Praise God for new life! Congrats Beth! (I'm sitting in the back with the red crocs on)




And now for Kevin, Beth's husband. He "looked" not quite as cold, but I bet inside he was screaming from the cold water! Congrats Kevin! (That's Dustin in the background looking down and thinking, "Sucks to be you Bob!")




The divine moment.

I'm so thankful Dustin was able to come with me this week as I travel for work. It has made all the difference having him to keep me company and pass the long hours in the car. We've had a great time each night eating good food and enjoying each other's company. I mean, you just can't go wrong when you're on the coast. What I love so much about the coast is:
1. Soft sand between my toes, reminding me to slow down and enjoy.
2. The evening sun glistening on the water.
3. Couples taking romantic strolls hand-in-hand. Birds and children playing in the water, laughing and chasing one another.
4. Good seafood and a great glass of wine after a relaxing day in the warm sun.
6. The sound of the ocean tide coming and going endlessly.
5. My hubby taking it all in with me.

I have often been referred to as a fish, especially when I was young and in the water all summer long. I just love water. Some of my favorite memories involve water- whether it be learning how to swim in my aunt Carol Ann's pool and spending summers at that pool with family, or family vacations to Florida where we splashed and played in the ocean. So many fond memories. The ocean makes me feel at peace and comforted in my soul. There's no faster way for me to relax than to sit looking out at the ocean. It's a place I hope to have in my life regularly and forever. The pacific coast has impressed me even more with it's rugged beaches lined with mountains of huge green trees. I wouldn't want to be any where else.

We’ve been reading through 1 Corinthians at church and have just recently talked about Paul’s example of giving up his rights for the sake of the gospel. I’m learning this in my own life.

I’ve been learning recently how the way I respond to situations truly affects those around me and the situation in general. I find when I confront someone in an angry, emotional-filled way, I rarely get a good response. They are defensive, uncooperative, and I just end up looking like a fool. I hate looking like a fool, I hate acting like a fool. However, if I confront someone in a gentle, heart-filled way I get a much better response. They are more apt to really hear me, to cooperate, and the outcome is positive. I see people all the time, and I have been one of them often, that think if they speak louder and cause a bigger scene then their point is made in a more dramatic way. I’ve learned…it’s not. Why do we do that? Why do we continue to use the same responses to situations hoping for a certain outcome, knowing all the while what the consequences will be- namely, us looking like a fool- but we forget those consequences. We think THIS time I will come out on top, I will be the winner of this situation, the battle is all mine.

I think there’s a difference between passion based on emotions vs. passion based on the heart. I think I have always thought that when you’re frustrated, you have to be angry to be honest. And that’s just not the case. Being honest is what’s important and so is the way in which you deliver that honesty. I want to be someone who is gentle, kind, loving, passionate, and truthful in all situations, but that doesn’t mean in order to be that way that I am expressing my emotions, but rather that I am expressing my heart. When I think about emotions, I think of extremes. When I think about the heart, I think of humility.

This happens all the time in marriages, at work, with friends and family. How do we speak honestly in every situation? What does it mean to even give up our rights in order for the truth to be known? How can I help everyone to leave a tense situation feeling good? How can I care about the way situations affect other people and not just myself?

I dealt with this very thing last month at work. I was in a debate with another department about an invoice we were to pay them. There were 3 or 4 different things on the invoice that bothered me, but one major one in particular. Someone else working on it with me was extremely aggravated and very huffy-puffy about the whole thing, mumbling under the breath, bad-mouthing, etc. I realized instantly this aggression rising up in me. “Was I being taken advantage of because I am new to the position? Did they think they could pull one over on me without me knowing? I must put my foot down, this is an injustice! How dare they do this to me! I will take a stand for all departments worldwide with inaccurate invoices! I will prevail!” This is how I felt at the beginning of the week. I emailed with the person in charge of this other department, we sent some explanations/frustrations back and forth. My Monday emails stated I wouldn’t pay the invoice. My Tuesday emails asked for an explanation. All the time wanting to go off about this department, wanting to take it the higher-ups, wanting to protect my rights. By the time Wednesday came my emails simply stated I would pay the invoice based on a compromise and appreciated her willingness to talk about how we could change things for next year. On Thursday the invoice was paid, all was well. And on Friday I went to work feeling so thankful that I hadn’t made a complete fool of myself my 4th week on the job. So thankful that I didn’t run my mouth like I normally do, so thankful I didn’t act like a fool, so thankful that God has done this in my life, knowing all the while it wasn’t me but him living in me.

How different I am. I have acted so different in similar situations, foolishly unfortunately. How can something seemingly so small in a person begin to completely change who they are? This seems like a simple lesson to learn, and yet I really feel like it’s changing the person I am. And I’m loving it.

I was overcome on Sunday by the goodness of God. I sat back, listening to the worship band practicing and was overcome with emotions- overcome with thankfulness and humility, awe and praise for our amazing God. I just wanted to listen and worship and revel in God's glory forever.

i am a cut the corners kind of girl. i always try to find the easy way out of something and then go that route. i was a good student in school. i enjoy school and learning, but i cut corners any way i could. my husband, on the other hand, is not a cut the corners kind of guy. he's more of a....long road in the right direction kind of guy. it cracks me up every time i see him reading a book for school that is on the RECOMMENDED reading list, not even REQUIRED!!! this happened again today and i was busting up b/c he's just so honest and sincere in his desire to learn. the conversation went something like this

dustin: so today in class we're reading the exact same article he had us read for homework last night.
kelli: you're just reading an article in class?
dustin: yeah, just reading it. it's pointless to read them at night since we're reading them in class.
kelli: so does that mean you're not going to read tonight?
dustin: oh no, i'll still read.
kelli: hahahahaha, but if it's pointless, then why?
dustin: b/c it's required
kelli: even though it's pointless, you're still going to read b/c it's required?
dustin: yeah, it's required, i have to.

my A+ student.

I hate when I get songs stuck in my head. Well, I don't always hate it, only when they are really bad or really dumb songs. Like the one that's stuck in there right now. "I kissed a girl a i liked it" Yes, that song is now playing regularly on the radio. Very disturbing. Even more disturbing is it has a catchy tune and now it's in my head. So dumb, get out dumb song, GET OUT!!!

I can't believe this is the song that every junior high girl will be singing all summer long. Get out of all our heads, dumb song, get out!!!

Not believing- that it's already the end of June. Where does time go? I know not. I feel overwhelmed that the weeks fly by and I don't get things done or do things that I want to do, such as blogging more, emailing friends and family more, calling friends and family, working out more, etc. Time, I shake my fist at you!!

Cooling down- after picking strawberries this morning at Kruger Farms. I must say I like Sauvie Island Farms better, but their strawberry fields were eaten by root weavel, so we've been forced to pick at Kruger. Kruger is more about the experience I think of being on a farm. And Sauvie is really just about picking. We felt like we got better strawberries from Sauvie as well. We miss you Sauvie!

Loving- the fresh produce markets. In my completely uninformed opinion, I think Portland has the best summer markets anywhere. I do like Kruger's market and always feel like I get so many vegetables for little money. Delicious, healthy, and cheap!!

Excited- about my new job. I had a couple of moments this past week where I was driving in my car and was overcome by thankfulness and amazement at my new job. I have one of those jobs that deserves a "that's a sweet gig!" response. I have said that to so many people and have waited for the day that I would have a sweet gig as well. The day has come and I'm lovin' it!

Weirded out- i had the exact same conversation with 2 of my friends this week. The both said to me at separate times, "I feel like I should be acting and feeling like more of an adult and I just don't." It was crazy because I have been having those same thoughts. It's weird to think that I'm going to be 30 next year and yet I still feel like a kid. Sometimes I feel like I "play" an adult that knows what they're doing at work, and then I come home and can be my kid-self with Dustin. It's bizarre. And I wonder if everyone goes through that feeling at this age. When do you start to feel like an adult? I still feel like i'm 22 or 25, just trying to figure things out in this crazy mixed up world.

Reading- I just finished The Shack by William Young. I had no idea it was on the New York Times Bestseller list. Dustin just told me about it, I thought it sounded cool, so I read it. Wow! I now know why it's on the bestseller list and why there's so much controversy surrounding it. It's set in the Portland, Oregon area, so that made me love it even more. All I can say is you don't have to believe the story to be true and real and still love it. I love it for making me think more about my relationship with God and God's character in my life and in the world. I think it's a must read for everyone, no matter your beliefs and I highly recommend it.

Reading #2- I started reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" because Dustin and I want to have a baby next year. I'm learning a lot and so glad that other friends are also reading it at the same time. I'm excited to be pregnant with a group of women that I love dearly and so thankful we can share this experience together, especially because so many of us are far away from family and friends. Thank you God for orchestrating this for us.

Preparing- for lots of travel at the end of July- August. I'll be taking week long trips for 4 weeks in a row which will be quite an adjustment to our schedule. Super excited about Dustin coming with me to southern Oregon coastal area. I feel like we need some time away just the two of us and this will be the perfect opportunity for very little money, always a great thing!

A few pictures of my trip to Illinois.



This is Savannah and Gabi swimming at my Aunt and Uncle's pool. They are sporting the fake vampire teeth which they won with tickets from video games. Very scary!



















Gabi giving me lovins at the pool. And saying goodbye to Savannah at church. I hate that part every time.




















Watching TV with Gabi. She likes to dance when music is on, so cute! And me, my mom, and grandma. Love those ladies!!

So I started my new job with The Salvation Army this past Monday at the Divisional Headquarters in Portland. My official title is Service Extension and Emergency Disaster Director (two jobs in one = standard non-profit policy). Here's a summary of what I do:

1. Service Extension Director - Service Extensions basically give assistance through vouchers in smaller communities and are administered by volunteers. So, my job is to raise money throughout Oregon to give to those in need, visit our volunteers in these communities, make sure they are following Salvation Army policies when writing vouchers, build relationships with them to make sure they feel equiped to perform their job, and network with other organizations who also provide services to make sure we're not duplicating services and really are serving a need. I oversee 120 of these extensions and have 3 staff that help to monitor them. I will be traveling quite a bit to visit these extensions all over Oregon and a few in southern Idaho.
2. Emergency Disaster Director - I'm responsible for making sure our division which includes all of Oregon and Southern Idaho is prepared to respond in the event of a disaster. This includes ensuring Salvation Army officers, staff, and volunteers are trained to handle all different types of disasters, creating policies for communication in the midst of disasters, and building relationships with other emergency management organizations such as the local cities, Red Cross, etc. So for anyone that lives in Oregon and wants to respond with The Salvation Army during a disaster, let me know and we'll get you trained!

This job is pretty overwhelming. I don't have any disaster experience to speak of, so I'll be traveling a lot this next year in order to get trained and become a trainer myself. They might even send me to a real life disaster!!

I'm loving the change so far. I love that my commute is only 15 minutes. I love that we're in a new building. I even don't mind my cubicle. I love that I get to travel all over Oregon and discover its amazing beauty over and over again. I love the flexibility and responsibility I have with this job. I love that my assistant is so encouraging and empowering. In fact, I have been warmly welcomed and enthusiastly accepted into my new position. In spite of my lack of experience in this specific area, the higher ups seem to be confident in me for which I'm incredibly grateful. Thank you God for answered prayer.

The added bonus is that Dustin gets to travel with me this summer while he isn't in class regularly. While I'm working he'll be preparing sermons, doing homework, reading etc. At night we can venture out to new places and discover Oregon together. This is probably the last summer that we won't be pregnant/ have a kid, so we're excited to "live it up" so to speak!

I will try to post about our adventures, but we all know what an inconsistent poster I am.

1. Illinois summers (in June when humidity is low!) They are random and intense and refreshing. One day it's 90 degrees with blue skies and a scorching sun and the next day it's overcast and rainy with high winds and deep blue/gray skies. My parent's house has trees all around it and when it downpours it sounds like the rainforest. So cool.

2. Swimming. I was at my aunt and uncle's pool today sunbathing and swimming. As I watched my cousins play and splash, I just felt so...at home. Listening to the birds chirping, the lawnmower running in the distance- Feeling the sun shining and a strong breeze- Seeing perfect colors of blues and greens and smiles...absolutely superb. That is what I have grown up with, that is what I think of when I hear summer break, that is what I want my kids to experience, and that is what I want to come home to every summer for the rest of my life.

3. Marshall First Christian Church. I consider my home church part of my heritage. FCC isn't a perfect church, but it's healthy and growing and full of people that just want to be more like Jesus. I love coming back. I always feel welcomed and supported and priviledged to come from such great stock. The people have made such an impact on my life. I love that I can come back to people who have seen God working in my life, people who have prayed for me for so many years, who stuck by me during my rebellious high school years, and people that remind me of what family truly is.

4. My family. I only get to be in Marshall with my family 2 weeks out of the year. That sucks. So when I'm here, I just want to be with them every moment of every day. It's not that I don't want to be with friends or go somewhere else, I just don't want to leave my family. My nieces are the best girls ever. I have so much fun with them. They are beautiful and sweet and smart and funny. I feel so blessed to be their aunt. I look forward to seeing them grow up and being a part of their lives. I look forward to my kids playing with them and probably being bossed around by them!

5. Sitting on grandma's front porch. My grandma lives right in the center of town. She has a great old porch swing that I have been swinging on since I was able to walk. I love sitting on her porch, chatting with family, waving at anyone and everyone that walks or drives by, and just relaxing.

6. Life's slow pace. Life is slower in small towns. It's not less busy, it's just...calmer, maybe. I don't know the word, it's different. I think small towns allow people to be slower. There's less people, less travel for what you need, more acquaintenances and opportunities for "pop-ins". Pop-ins are very popular in small towns, I love it, and I am incredibly bad at it. I am use to the call ahead. I call ahead to make sure friends are home, that it's ok to stop by, that I have a reason to come over. But in small towns, those rules don't apply. You are allowed and encouraged to pop in just because. And it's expected. People get offended if you don't pop in. I'm working on my pop in.

Just a few more days and my relaxing vacation will be over. I'm praying for a sunny day tomorrow so I can get some more pool time. If not, that's ok, I know of a nice porch swing to pass the time.

Lindsay Jordan, this blog post is for you. I know it's been quite some time since my last post. I keep thinking of things I'd like to post about but haven't taken the time to sit down and do them. But I will soon, very soon.

I love you girl.

I'M GOING TO FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to my awesome parents, I will be joining them for a week of sand, sun, and seafood at Daytona Beach, Florida. The added bonus is that I get to see my best friend Jaime and meet her boyfriend Phil. YEAH!!!!! I'm am so excited, I'm giddy!

The only downfall is that I will be away from Dustin for 2 weeks. Yuck. But if you know me at all you know that Kelli with a tan is a happier, healthier Kelli. =)

As of today, I've been alive for 29 years. Twenty...nine....2....9.... I don't feel any different really. I do feel myself getting a little older- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I look back on 5 years ago and see growth, which is always an exciting thing. I hope this is how I feel with each new birthday, a feeling of growth, a thankfulness for change within myself, gratefulness for all of God's blessings over the years, and a hopefulness that life will just keep getting better and growth will continue with each new day.

Over coffee this morning, Dustin and I reflected on the big 3-0 which is right around the corner. We both feel like we're going to embrace our thirties, knowing that new adventures await us- having kids, possibly buying a home, paying off debt, being in ministry full time and living life with amazing friends and family. I never though I'd be 30 before I had my first child. I don't know yet how to feel about that, if I should in fact feel anything at all, but I wouldn't change how my life has played out for anything in the world.

We also talked about what our life would be like if we had started dating in college. We probably would have lived in married student housing (oh no!!), I would have moved to NYC with him (Yeah!!), I might not have got an MBA (booh!), I have no idea what kind of job I would have worked, maybe Starbucks (cool!) maybe Administrative Assistant for the church (uh...). We both would have missed out on amazing friendships and experiences. Our time living alone has prepared us so well for marriage. We have an appreciation for one another that would not have been there otherwise. So, I am reminded, once again, that God's plans are divine and mine are not. I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason.

I'm thankful that on my 29th birthday I'm living in Portland, I'm working for The Salvation Army, we are a part of Evergreen, I have great friends in Portland and around the world, my family is faithful through the long distance, and I am married to the most amazing man on earth. I can say with full confidence that life truly is so good.

1 Corinthians 4:20

“For the Kingdom of God I not just a lot of words; it is living by God’s power.”

I read the Golden Compass series a few months ago. It’s written by an atheist so I know some Christians have issues with reading it. It was an entertaining story and it definitely didn’t persuade me to think that God doesn’t exist. In fact, it had the opposite affect. It reminded me of how powerful God really is. In the story, humans are attempting and eventually succeed at dethroning and killing God. God is portrayed as a old, decrepit, dying man that relies on angels to help him get around. He eventually dies of old age. It was humorous to me as I read the story about how God was portrayed, it was just so….wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. By very definition, it was wrong. It would be like describing a dog by the way they chirp and fly around. That’s just wrong. That’s not the definition of a dog at all. That is something completely different (namely, a bird).

That’s how God was portrayed, by using the complete opposite definition. God by very definition can’t be thwarted by human kind. That’s why he is a god, because he is greater than humans. It was ridiculous and foolish to read about a mere man with armies of other mere men, with animals, and technology and whatever else battling to take down God. The true God, the God that I have grown up knowing and loving and trusting, could destroy them all with a blink of his eye. But the God I know wouldn’t. Instead of showing his power through brute force, he chose to show it through humility and submission. Instead of commanding from high above, he chose to come down, to squat down next to us at our level and talk with us.

God’s power is so much more than these simple words and yet I see it in simple ways all the time. God’s power is seen in the miracle of a baby being born, in the seasons changing, in the tides of the ocean, in the healing of destructive behavior, in the forgiveness of his people, in the unconditional love of the absolutely unlovable, namely us…me.

God’s power is someone like me serving him, believing in him, living in that power, all the days of my life, never giving up on it, never swaying from it, but relying on it more and more every day. I see living in God’s power in my grandmother. She began following Jesus in her early thirties. She’s turning 80 this year. 50 years!! 50 years of believing that the God who has given and taken away is alive and real and loving and powerful, that a relationship with him is worthy of 50 years. I am amazed by her faithfulness, by her honest love of Jesus and his people, and by her heartfelt desire to continue to live in God’s power every moment of every day.

I want so much to live in God’s power everyday, but I don’t know exactly how to do that. I’m still learning what that looks like day in and day out for the rest of my life. I don’t want my faith to just be words, I want it to be lived out in God’s power through me. I’m thankful to my grandma for showing me what that looks like for the last almost 29 years of my life. I look forward to my 50 years of faithfulness.

You can go to this link to see a short video of our new place. Click on "Download link" at the bottom of the page. Enjoy!!

Dustin and I watched this movie on Friday night. I'm still a little baffled by it. I went into it with a lot of expectations because Dustin LOVED it and it won awards and all that hype. These were my thoughts (WARNING!! Don't read any further if you haven't seen the movie and don't want it ruined for you):
1. I hate when the bad guys don't get caught at the end of movies. I know that real life doesn't have happy endings, I know that the reality of our world today is that psycho people are walking around with free reign, I know all of that stuff. But I'm a "romantic" (is that the word for wanting mass murders caught?) and I want to see good prevail over evil. Because I also know that is the ultimate reality.
2. The majority of the movie was about the bad guy and the guy with his money. A small portion was about the sheriff and yet the movie ended with no resolution with the bad guy and a "profound" dream of the sheriff. I felt like if they wanted the movie to be about the sheriff they should have focused more on his character instead of the psycho.
3. Dustin says the point of the movie was about the sheriff coming to terms with his own mortality. I can see that, but surely that wasn't the WHOLE point of the movie, especially when 80% of the movie is about something different, namely the psychotic antics of the mass murderer.
4. I was so mad when the sheriff pulled up to find the guy that stole the money was dead. Talk about a let down. The whole movie you're rooting for him to live and then the next scene he's dead. Dumb.
5. I guess I just felt a little...unsettled. I mean, obviously, right? The movie is about a psychotic murderer, I hope I wouldn't feel really good at the end of it. I guess I wanted some kind of redemption in the end, and I just didn't feel it. The sheriff's dream was cool and all, but I didn't feel like there was enough story about the sheriff throughout the whole movie to make me bond with him.
6. It was incredibly suspenseful so that was entertaining. And the bad guy was the ultimate in creepy bad guy. It was pretty funny in parts too which was unexpected, comic relief was definitely needed in parts.

Overall I liked the movie alright, but I didn't love it. I definitely don't want to watch it again, too much killing.

On a lighter note, we watched "Dan in Real Life" afterwards. It was a cute chick flick. Dustin fell asleep half way into it, go figure.

I hope to post pics of our new place this weekend once we're settled in. We moved last Friday with the help of three friends. Thanks to Andy, Chris, and Karli for pitching in. They arrived at 9:30am and we were completely finished - U-Haul loaded and unloaded, old apartment cleaned- by 11:30am. Not too shabby! Moving is probably the only thing I can say I'm an expert in. I don't mess around.

However, when Dustin and Chris were returning the U-Haul it broke down at the gas station just a few blocks from the U-haul office, they had to wait for over an hour for the repairman to come those few blocks, he couldn't fix it so they had to walk the few blocks in the hail. I expected them to return pretty peeved, but they weren't. Apparently they enjoyed each other's company. Who would have thought? Way to go guys!

Karli and I spent 7 hours at IKEA on Saturday. I can confidently say that was the most intense shopping experience I've had in many, many years. Had my feet not been killing me from shoes that were not meant to shop 7 hours in, I would have stayed longer! I had such a great time. IKEA and Karli, two of my favorite things!

The Good Friday service went well on Friday night. Scott and Glad read my writing and did an amazing job. It happened exactly as I pictured it in my head. Thanks guys for sharing your thespian sides. Easter Sunday was very dreary outside, kind of weird. We had a good time at church and at our home group cook out. Good food, great friends, Jesus conquering death...who could ask for more?

We really like our new apartment. Some highlights and lowlights:
- we have a dishwasher!!
- the washer/ dryer combo is more of a washer combo. the repairman is coming tomorrow to fix that.
- Dustin keeps saying to me, "It's weird not knowing what you're doing at all times. Now that there are walls, I can't just look up and know." and "It's so fun to have different rooms!"
- one of the two electrical outlets in our kitchen doesn't work.
- we have the largest bathroom cabinet i've ever seen. it's so large we're storing Chris and Karli's 2 room tent on the top shelf!
- i tried to take a bath on Friday afternoon and the water was lukewarm when i went to get in. i'm hoping it was a fluke thing.
- we still don't have a key to our storage unit.
- no more stealing free internet from our neighbors. we might have to break down and buy our own. suckfest! it's hard not having internet at home. i've felt lost the last few evenings.
- i called the apartment manager on Saturday and instead of calling her Linda, which is her name, i called her Apartment! Yup, I actually said, "Hi Apartment". So embarrassing! Dustin is still laughing about that.
- the new place only adds 10 minutes to my travel time, very thankful for that.
- it takes Dustin 3 minutes to get to school.
- we have a Thai/ Vietnamese Restaurant right across the street from our complex. i hope it's good food b/c i plan on take out once a week.
- we have a grocery store 1 block away from us, but it's a QFC which tends to be expensive, bummer.
- right next to the QFC is a Blockbuster. yes!
- our apartment complex reminds Karli of the beach. i love the beach.

With all of the ups and downs that our new place has brought, Dustin and I are super psyched to be in a one bedroom apartment. And it's cheaper than our studio! Crazy!

I just finished this book last night. I started it on Saturday. It's one of those types of books, the type that you can't put down, the type that you choose above all else- eating, sleeping, going to the gym, watching a movie, hanging out with others, etc. I have been wanting to read this book for so long so my expectations were pretty high. I can confidently say that it didn't disappoint.

Khaled Hosseini is a magnificent storyteller. In fact, the story was so well written that I actually thought this was his life story, I thought he was the narrator. That's how convincing and emotional and real the events and characters and setting are in this book. I enjoyed reading about the Afghanistan of "the good ole' days" before political turmoil and the Taliban. I enjoyed reading about the life of Muslims, those that are devout and those whose claim is merely cultural. This story, like so many others that I love, is impactful because of the hard issues it confronts- friendship, betrayal, family, status, becoming an adult, life choices, redemption, right and wrong, etc. Good books to me are those that at the end I feel heavy over. Do you know what I mean? Like I've just taken in so much meaty stuff, both in my head and my heart, that I feel heavy. Heavy, in this case, is good. It means there's stuff to sort through. So for the next few days or weeks or months, I will be sorting through this heaviness. And I love that! I love when characters from books stay with me long after I've put down their pages. I love the images my mind creates of good stories and how they linger day in and day out.

I look forward to Hosseini's next book, A Thousand Spendid Suns, with as much expectation as the first. But for now, I'll dream of kites.

Listen to the prayers of our hearts,

Open our eyes that we may see you in everything and everyone,

Vacate the darkness with your eternal light,

Enter into us so that we may love as you do.

We are listening Lord. We know that you always hear our prayers even when you are silent. We believe in your love if in nothing else all the days of our lives. We know in our minds and hearts and very souls that no matter what life may bring, whether good or bad, you love us…you love us….you love us…I love to say that and I love to hear it said that the God of the universe, in all his glory, loves me.

As we look around this world and see pain and suffering, we know with all that we are that your love reigns. Your love has won, is winning, and will win in the end. All we ask is for more of your love while we wait for you Jesus. This world needs more of your love. I need more of your love. This church needs more of your love. Teach us your love.

May we never forget your loving acts of kindness. May we never forget how your love conquered all, even death. May we feel every day a love so powerful that demons recoil, mountains crumble and the seas recede. A love as gentle as a baby’s touch, a love that breaks the hardest of hearts. And we anxiously await the day that we are truly made new by your powerful love. We anticipate an eternity of your undiluted love. Change us Lord, may our community reflect your love. May your love be tattooed on our hearts, an image that will never leave us.

Come Lord Jesus Come

We have experienced your love. We can't imagine a world without it,

Come Lord Jesus Come

You can read all about me as the treasurer of Evergreen here and see Dustin's silly picture here. I'm still laughing to myself about Dustin's picture. He just looks so grumpy!! Not really what you're looking for in an elder, huh? =)

I love Dustin's faces. People often accuse him of being straight-faced, of showing no expression, of not knowing what he's thinking or feeling. I understand, that can be true. And yet, at the same time he can make the funniest and weirdest expressions ever. They always make me laugh, especially his mean ones, hahahahaha. I'm laughing outloud at work just thinking about it. Good times, good times.

I love that I have so many friends that are artists. I am no where close, but I love being surrounded by creative folks. Kobie is a new friend upon moving to Portland, and she is incredibly creative and talented and I love that she's my friend. She's taken the leap and started her own card business, Edna Mae Originals. So check it out and order cards!! You won't be disappointed.