Is it possible to have life long friends? I have moved so much in my life. I remember my friends from each new place I have lived, memories of relationships long gone. To think of that happening again in my life, having to move on from my current friendships and start again breaks my heart. I don't want to continue to make new friends for the rest of my life, I want friendships that are for life. Friendships that stand the test of time, that weather the storms together, that celebrate the big and little joys of life together, friends who are known inside and out. I want accountability and honesty, unconditional and tough love. I want friends who are closer than a brother, relationships that enhance even the dreariest of days.
I want friends who are not of the past but of the present and future. Relationships that I know will be an active part of my life twenty years from now. What I am realizing, reluctantly, is that time often doesn't allow for these kinds of relationships. Time, of all things. I can go a month or more without talking to friends who I hold so dear to my heart. Hard days and days will pass without talking to the people I know can lighten my load. Most of us don't have time for a lot of close friends. But we do have time for some. It's those some that I miss.
It's hard to maintain these close friendships when we live in different parts of town (or country!), when we send our kids to different schools, when we attend different churches, when those things that take up time in our lives aren't able to be shared, relationships suffer. Loneliness creeps in and the void appears ever so large, an expanse uncrossable.
Are close friendships seasonal? The kind of friends that share our every day life. Is it inevitable that people drift apart eventually? That once what bonded us so has passed, we've each moved on to something else, bonded with someone else. I guess this post is coming from a place of realizing I have so many amazing friends in my life, friends that I don't get enough time with, friends that I want more of, friendships that Time is thwarting. Damn you Time.
I have never really realized the utter freedom that will be felt when Time is banished. When we have eternity to spend with our loved ones, forever to enjoy the company of the One and ones who we love so dearly. I eagerly anticipate the days that have no end, when time stands still and precious moments are allowed to linger and linger in the company of friends.
