I'm blogging at 4am, been up since 2am when I was awoke by Gram laughing in his sleep. Quite a contrast from the cries that use to awaken us in the night, a much embraced contrast!
I was sitting on my couch this evening with my feet up and a book in my hand listening to the sweet giggles coming from Gram's room during bedtime routine with dad. I sat there soaking it all in, our living room, the dark night and warm glow of our lights inside, a kitchen cleaned after a good meal, and my two favorite guys giggling in the next room before bed. This is what I have been thinking about in the middle of the night after being awoke by dreaming laughs. I can't seem to shake this overwhelming feeling of contentment and gratitude, I can't get back to sleep because of it. I am utterly humbled at all God has chosen to give me and at who he has chosen to give me.
It's been about 5 months now that Dustin has been doing the bedtime routine with Gram and putting him to bed. After 18 months of nursing Gram and putting him down, I have gladly given this over to Dustin and Dustin has even more gladly and gaily accepted. Gram's bedtime routine includes reading books with dad right before night-nights. Every night is a little different in that there's no set amount of books that Gram and Dustin read together. Some nights Gram can hardly get through 1 book before he points to the crib and says, "night-nights". Dustin obliges with an "I love you bud, night-nights" and puts him to bed. Other nights Gram seems to delaying the inevitable with more books even though he is so tired. Those nights Dustin says, "just one more book bud and then night-nights." Gram obliges and is carried to his crib with an "I love you bud, night-nights." But some nights are like tonight, when both Gram and Dustin want to sit, cuddling in the rocker, pointing to and talking about each page in each book. There's no hurry, just delight in spending time together. I admit that on the nights when Dustin is at a meeting and I read with Gram, I find myself wanting to hurry through bedtime routine so I can get him down and have some time to myself. But Dustin, he doesn't do that, he savors each moment with Gram. He truly delights in his son.
What is on my mind tonight that I can't seem to shake is how amazing of a dad my husband is. Those of us who knew Dustin before he was dad often thought, "What kind of dad will Dustin be?" Dustin wasn't the kind of guy that flocked to babies or had kids flock to him necessarily. He had only held 1 or 2 babies before Gram came along! I didn't know what kind of dad Dustin would be, but I knew he would be a good dad. I knew he would surprise us. However, I greatly underestimated his skills as a father and have realized over these last months that Dustin is a great dad, a really, really great dad.
I knew that I would be a good mom. I love babies and have looked forward to this time in my life for a very long time. But I learn weekly from my husband what it means to be a godly parent, what it means to guide, correct and love with patience and intention. As I laid in bed tonight I just felt deeply grateful for the man who sleeps next to me night after night. For his for love me and our son (and the one on the way!) that comes from the very depth of who he is.
And so, I have no doubt that Gram was dreaming about his dad tonight. He could have been laughing at Dustin eating his head like a zebra (a notion totally made up by Dustin!), or kissing him in the small of his neck, or chasing him around the house, or pretending to drop the book, all things that Gram loves to do with his dad.
Sweet dreams, my boy, sweet dreams.
