You make beautiful things

"You make beautiful things...You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things...You make beautiful things out of us.
You make things new...you are making me new."

We sing this song at Evergreen and I love it. It gives me hope, it speaks of redemption, it reminds me of what God does with our lives, regardless of how ugly they might look at the moment, He makes them beautiful.

He's given us 2 little boys who are more beautiful than I ever could have imagined or created myself. Feeling thankful for God's beauty in my life this morning.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

A rich relationship

There are so many things about being a mom that have been completely unexpected - the extent of exhaustion; the influence that gas has on their tiny tummies and big moods; the long, long road of teething; sleep training; the ungodly length of time I can stare at a sleeping baby....just to name a few.

But the one that I am feeling more and more is the rich relationship that I have with my sons. (I will talk mostly of Gram because I have had more time with him, but I am beginning to see a similar relationship with my O-bear.) My relationship with Gram is so much richer than I had anticipated. His affections for me and need for Mama's comfort is so beautiful and, honestly, a great reward for all the sleepless nights and long days spent loving and guiding him along.

I can see this richness as he grows and is able to express himself more, as he talks about what he sees around him, as he plays out his experiences. I see this little man who is deeply connected to me. My son wants to share everything with me. He wants me with him when he's hurt and when he's having fun, he wants me to provide when he's hungry or bored, he wants me to laugh with and cry with, he wants me..regardless of his mood or his day or if we've been together all day long, he wants me near him.

Gram loves spending time with others. He's an incredibly social kid and wants to practically burst with excitement when we have people over to the house. (It's funny to have people to the house who have only seen Gram in public, he's like a crazy man at home instead of the reserved, well-behaved kid they normally see.) I digress....Gram loves people, he loves when people play with him. He wants you to come into his room and play trains or trucks or whatever. And he has lots of great people to play with. He loves to play with his Dad and his grandparents. It's so, so precious to see him play with others. But he also loves to play with me. And I, in return, love to play with him. We love to play together and it makes life fun. It's fun to have someone want to be with you, someone who genuinely enjoys your company, a person who you bring so much joy to.

I'm thankful, thankful for Gram and Owen and however many days we get to play together. I'm thankful that even though Dad is super, super fun, they still think I am pretty amazingly fun as well. I'm thankful that even if I'm needing a break from my little men, they rarely seem to need a break from me (a lesson of unconditional love for sure!)

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Happy 3rd Bday Gram!

Newborn- full of snuggles but not a lot of sleep, I felt overwhelmed by everything- overwhelmed by the responsibility of this new little man in my life, but mostly overwhelmed that each day spent with you made me love you more and more.

1 year old- still full of snuggles, and so darn cute! It's kind of ridiculous, actually, just how cute you are at this stage. Those dark brown eyes are captivating and your serious face is...one of a kind, my boy.

2 years old - The serious face has become more intense, along with those dark eyes it feels like you are looking into a person, peering deep into them. Yet, you are such a lighthearted little boy, you love to laugh and run and snuggle, you continue to love to snuggle (which your dad and I both appreciate!)

3 years old- your smile is...beautiful and your belly laugh is absolutely contagious. A lot has happened this past year- you became a big brother, you started preschool, we are attempting to potty train you and you are talking so much, you have thoughts and ideas and you are learning how to communicate them. You are smart and funny and extremely strong willed. You are such a fast runner! You can be so darn frustrating at times, you are testing boundaries and telling us "No" and are trying so hard to do things for yourself and figure out your place in the world. Yet, in the midst of frustrating days, you bring me so much joy, my boy. Such deep, deep joy. You make me smile every day. And while I love you more than anything I have ever loved before, you love me entirely. Your love for me and your dad is so pure and so honest and so amazing to feel. Thank you for it.

Right now you are refusing to go to sleep, your talking to your animals and telling them that you need to "go out". Tonight you performed physical exams on our bellies, you've got some good doctoring skills already. You want to take whatever toy Owen is playing with and you've begun to say "No, Owen, No!" quite a bit. However, you are excited for Owen to get bigger so he can run and chase you.

You are full of so much life, my love. I thank God every day that we get to share in your life. You are and will always be mommy's little monkey. I love you Gram.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Sleep? What's that?

One thought that goes through my head multiple times a day is, "How do parents have more than 2 kids?" And especially, "How the hell do some parents have 5 or 6 or 8 kids?" Cause some people do! Some people choose to have 8 kids! And it is baffling to me. The term "utmost respect" times 1,000 would begin to describe how I feel about said people.

Parenting is hard. Raising little people is ex-haust-ing. (Let me just add in here that I'm ranting a little, ok. I have amazing kids and we are incredibly blessed to have a community that is supportive and family that loves our kids and gives us a regular break to keep our sanity. I definitely see that I have it much easier than a lot of people and I am very thankful for that.) Let me continue...

Ex-haust-ing. I'm physically exhausted from being up at night with Owen. I'm emotionally exhausted from the intense stage of having a 3 year old- giving up the pacifier, potty training, preschool, wanting to do things for himself, testing boundaries, adjusting to a new little brother, etc. Bed time is hard with both of them. We start at 7:30pm and sometimes it's 9:30pm before the house is quiet and we can relax, and often just go to bed at that point.

I find myself feeling the tension of wanting to enjoy this stage with our two boys and longing for the next stage when they are sleeping better and potty training is complete and I can actually get 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!

Longing...that's what I'm feeling quite a bit these days, longing for sleep.

But in the midst of being so, so tired...I get these amazing snuggles every day. I have two boys who are Mama's Boys! I feel their love for me so deeply and completely. That's the thing about babies and kids, they love deeply. They feel so completely, and they express those feelings unashamedly. I appreciate that about them, especially coming from my boys. We are trying hard to create an environment for them where expressing their feelings is encouraged. We want them to know they are allowed to feel whatever they want, there are boundaries with how they can express those feelings, but we want to know how they feel and think and perceive what is going on in their lives.

And it's so amazing to see what their little sponge minds are soaking up. And nerve racking to know everything we do is being copied and memorized. Yikes! And so I strive with little sleep to be patient with a rowdy 3 year old and my never-stopping 7 month old. They keep me going, for sure.

But for now...I sleep.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

You make beautiful things

A rich relationship

Happy 3rd Bday Gram!

Sleep? What's that?

kelli-girl

About Me

they said it better than I

Books I Want to Read in 2010

The Others

The Evergreeners

Blog Archive

Search