"'Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.'" John 6:68
I have been feeling lately an overwhelming thankfulness and need for Sunday morning sermons. I have had weekly sermons in my life for...my whole life! They have been a regular part of my years, year after year after year. You might think at some point I would get tired of them. There have been moments, I won't lie, but overall, I have been reminded regularly of the power of these times - times to sit and let God speak to me.
The church, in all its flaws and strengths, is after all God's plan. I realize how we Americans hold church isn't THE way for everyone, but I have come to love and depend on it. There's something so powerful about gathering together with other people to hear from and worship the Creator. There's power in being in a room filled with people who are trying to figure things out just like I am. People who struggle and hurt, people who rejoice and love, people who have been made in the image of God and who seek to be the image of Christ. There's power in our humanity coming to our Creator, bringing all of that- all of who we are, both the good and bad, the questions and doubts and worry, the joy and gratitude and devotion- to the God who made heaven and earth and yet who chose and chooses all of our days to come near to us, to meet us where we're at in life, to listen and love.
We have been hearing from the book of Proverbs the last few Sundays and this past Sunday Chris preached about conflict. It was just what I needed to hear. I have felt that I need to be more honest in my life lately, which inevitably will lead to some kind of conflict. I appreciated hearing what God's word had to say about it. After all, I can either handle conflict in a healthy and biblical way, or I can handle it like..well..me and destroy relationships and mess things up. Without God's word preached into my life, that's what happens...I happen! =) Even if I have a really great idea, it's not better than God's idea. I need his wisdom and guidance to form my thoughts because left to myself my thoughts aren't good. They are selfish and destructive and just plain stupid. But hearing from God on a regular basis combats all that. Christ's teachings teach me a better way, not just for my sake but for the sake of my husband and child, my friends and family, my co-workers and even perfect strangers. All are affected by the way I choose to live my life, that's no small matter and one that I don't take lightly. One that I want to set aside time to focus on regularly, at the bare minimum one day a week for a few hours.
I have been thinking lately what my life would look like without our weekly church gatherings. What would it be like to have Sunday morning to do whatever with? It would probably be just like another Saturday (which isn't necessarily a bad thing!) But Saturdays in my life have been known to be about me (which also isn't necessarily a bad thing) It's a time to relax and do nothing if that's what I want. Maybe go hiking or do yard work or hang with friends. Or just watch TV all day (pre-kid that is!) All good things. Saturdays usually aren't a time of reflection, they aren't a time for me to listen and learn and be challenged and give thanks. Saturdays are too lazy for that. I need Sundays. I need intentional time that, regardless of how I'm feeling that day or what kind of craziness Gram is being, I need that regular time to come and sit at the feet of Jesus. I need that time of taking a break from all the good things God has given me and focus on Him who is Good.
It's not easy though, especially with a kid. Wow, so hard to concentrate on Sunday mornings. But I'm learning, I'm learning how to glean as much as I can from what's being said. I'm learning that even if I hear 5 minutes of the sermon in between feeding, changing, and keeping Gram quiet, I've heard something and can reflect on that.
I don't say this because I'm the wife of a pastor. My being married to a pastor is one of God's little jokes. I had prayed specifically in college to NOT marry a pastor. Look who has a sense of humor! But God knew my heart better than I did. He knew that deep down I loved His church. He knew I need her in my life so much. Sometimes I wonder if those who are called to ministry are called because they need His church more than anyone! They aren't the most well but the most sick! =) (I'm sure ministers will love to hear that!)
Just like Peter replied when Jesus asked if he was going to leave, where would I go Lord? Where would I go on Sunday mornings that's more beneficial to me than church? Who would I go to for purpose and hope in life if not the Creator? How else would I spend my time if not striving every day to live like the Savior of the world? Nothing else compares. No one else comes even close. Sunday mornings is where it's at.
