Anyone who's been keeping up with me lately knows that I have been consumed the last 9 months with Gram's non-existant sleeping patterns. I have gone back and forth about how to train him to sleep through the night, or the very least not want to eat throughout the night. I have read article after article and talked to countless moms about this issue. In my more sleep deprived moments, I have been convinced that I shouldn't let one more night pass with feeding him every few hours. In my rested moments, I can't imagine not giving him whatever he wants whenever he wants.
I had a bit of a revelation this past weekend. While it's hard night after night to wake up every 3 hours, I realized that Gram is already 9 months old! And I won't have these moments forever. These 9 months have flew by and in another 9 months Gram won't be nursing anymore and will probably be more into Dad instead of me. So I want to enjoy these 3 am feedings, those quiet, intimate moments that I will cherish in my heart for the rest of my life.
This mom thing has been so much more amazing than I ever dreamed of. I don't want to forget that throughout my days and nights. I want Gram to know that I love being with him any time of the day or night. So, I'm choosing to not worry/ freak out about his night wakings. I continue to pray for patience and strength and rest to care for him in my sleep deprived moments. And although I tend to feel a bit guilty about taking naps during the day, maybe they should be a regular part of my weeks during this season of life. I do love naps!
As I write this I am feeling very tired, physically drained from lack of sleep, but so energized by this little man growling next to me. And so I say....Grrrrrr!!!!
