"...I can never get away from your presence!..If I ride the wings of the morning,..even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." Psalm 139
Wow, sitting down to blog, what a treat! Life has been unusually crazy lately with Gram teething. I don't know who writes the books that say babies should only experience about a week of intense teething pain. Yeah right! We are going on 2 months! But, alas, we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Praise God!! Gram has been going down much easier the last day and he even slept a 5 hour stretch last night (as opposed to up every 1 1/2 hours for the last 5 nights, ugh!). Woohoo!! Ironically, when he woke up at 4 am after the 5 hour stretch, he didn't go back to bed. That sounds about right.
So when I read this Psalm as I sat down to write, I was encouraged by the words of David. God's presence is always with me, no matter the time of day, if I've showered or not, if I have the energy of mom-of-the-year or are just barely keeping my eyes open to make sure Gram isn't harming himself - God is here with me.
I like the phrase, "If I ride the wings of the morning". Ha! What a positive way to say if I'm up at the butt crack of dawn (where did that phrase come from anyway?) I rode those wings this morning! And, thankfully, God was there with me to guide and support me, to give me the energy I needed to love Gram with his 4 am burst of energy. I think every morning for the last 10 months I been on those wings, barely holding on for sure. I wouldn't say I've been riding them, maybe a handful of times I took the reigns, but mostly I feel like I've been riding cause I have to, because I love Gram and that's what it takes. Gram wants to ride the wings of the morning again and again and so I go along, to guide and support him just as God is guiding and supporting me.
I feel like since having a kid I have a new understanding of God and his love for me. I have a new understanding of free will and grace, forgiveness and discipline, answered prayer and his silent voice. I have a new understanding of myself as a child of God, what I put him through with my rebellious whims, his hand helping to guide my curiosity and learning, the joy he must feel just being a part of my life, warts and all. Whatever I feel towards Gram, I imagine God feeling that way towards me times 100, and my heart bursts. Nothing particularly amazing is happening in me spiritually, just peace and thankfulness for God's unconditional love which is new every morning.
Maybe I do feel liking going for a ride.
A Mother's Love is awesome - I'm so glad you are enjoying the ride!!