It's pretty obvious in any family that moms and dads relate and parent their kids differently. I noticed this difference almost immediately after bringing Gram home from the hospital. Dustin does things differently than me, not better or worse, just different. He holds Gram differently, he comforts him differently, he plays with him differently. And I love it. I love to see Dustin with Gram. I love to see him hold him and play with him and talk to him and make him laugh. I love that no one..NO ONE... can make Gram smile and laugh like Dustin. It warms my heart every time. I love the bond that's already there between them and look forward to seeing it grow more every day. And I know that bond is there because of the time and attention that Dustin gives to Gram. Dustin and Gram have mornings together (so I can sleep in, yeah!), time that Dustin holds very dear, one on one time between a father and a son.
I started reading a book called "Fatherstyle" about the way fathers parent that is typically different than mothers but is very important to raising healthy children. Just because I'm Gram's mom, I don't claim to know all the answers or think my way is the right way to do things with him. I know I have limitations as his mom and I want to embrace the strengths that Dustin as his father brings. I hate the stereotypes that is often displayed on tv that mothers are nurturing and dads are clueless and emotionally distant. I haven't found this to be the case with Dustin and I don't expect that to change.
But it takes work. It takes work for me to not just take over when Dustin isn't doing what I would do, and for Dustin to not give up but try to figure things out with Gram. It takes effort on both our parts to learn from each other, to see the strengths that we both bring to parenting Gram, to appreciate the other parent and respect their differences.
I'm excited to read this book to learn about the strengths that fathers bring to parenting. I think it will help me to appreciate Dustin more as well and hopefully help me be a better mom...two things I can never have enough of.
